Well, I didn’t actually die … but figuratively I did and it took me a while to cross the proverbial ‘River Styx’ back to the land of the living.
For those who have known me for a while, you know I started this wine blog when I was living in Dijon, France getting my Masters in Wine Business back in March of 2009! (My first post!) I was an OG wine blogger, gangsta status. I then turned Vinously Speaking Wine Blog into a wine shop in San Antonio, TX. Then two years later, I disappeared … I closed my shop and stopped blogging. My readers were sad, I’m sure.
So what the hell happened? Why did I vanish into thin air like Amelia Earhart?
I went to live with Tupac, Elvis and Marilyn Monroe on that magical island they all live on.
Just kidding … here it goes … the real reason: (You might want to grab some tissue, some wine, and one of those leftover confetti poppers from NYE … you’ll need all three)
The end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013 saw two major heartbreaks happen in my life. My furry best friend of 8 years died tragically and then not long after that, the love of my life for 6 years said “he didn’t know what he wanted in life anymore, but he knew it didn’t include me”.
Like “depressed-for-6-months-eating-nothing-but-ramen-and-watching-Criminal-Minds” kind of ouch. [You can grab that tissue you have]
That 6 months of living in the stanky bowels of depression was horrible. I felt like I was a dead man walking … well, more like a dead man sitting/laying down, I think I took all of 1,000 steps and ate all of 1,000 bags of Maruchan Ramen (
best worst diet I had ever been on, I lost so much weight, it was a little scary). And when I wasn’t binging on Criminal Minds or Law & Order SVU, I would go open up my wine shop and sit in the back room, staring into oblivion. This was my sad life for 6 months. Every. Single. Damn. Day. [Go ahead, grab another tissue]
Lucky for me, after about 6 months of my stay-cation in the bowels of depression, one of my best friends decided it was time to give me some tough love and told me, “Enough is enough! Pity party is officially over! Put on your sexiest dress and your sluttiest stilettos, were going to a gala tonight!”
I was so reluctant to go. I’m almost certain he had to physically dress me and drag me out the door, kicking and screaming.
But it was just what I needed. From that day on, we literally spent every day for an entire year going to every gala, bar, and party we could find. Like a good socialite, I drank my emotions away. [You can start
chugging drinking that wine you have, if you haven’t already.]
6 months into that party year, the alcohol sales permit for my wine shop was reaching its expiration date, and so was my desire to keep sitting alone in my wine shop staring at nothing all day. 6 months after that, I realized I couldn’t keep shoving my emotions down with shots of expensive whiskey and potent prohibition style cocktails … it was time to start picking up the pieces of my shattered heart and start on the long road to heartbreak recovery.
First thing I needed was a job. Luckily for me, the perfect one all but landed in my lap. I took a job as a brand ambassador for a TX winery I sold at my wine shop. I spent the next 3.5 years traveling around the state of TX for my job, meeting amazing people, networking, eating all the delicious foods and wines at all the wine events I was going to, etc.
When I wasn’t working I was spending time with my support system (my framily), getting back to exercising, loving on my new corgi (Miss Vita), exploring the single life, studying for a top level wine exam, and most importantly, spending time working with my two amazing life coaches (Sally and Natalie). The pain I felt from those two major heartbreaks went super deep. My two life coaches gave me the platforms I needed to embrace and face my pain and fears, to do loads of heart work, to discover every corner of myself, to peel back every single layer of my soul. They, along with my support system, helped me glue the pieces of my shattered heart into a beautiful mosaic.
It took me a long time to be able to say this with every fiber of my being, but I am so grateful to my ex for letting me go and for being honest with himself and what he needed in life at that time. Because out of this outrageous pain, came the most incredible and beautiful journey of self-discovery, self-awareness, and self-love. I love the mosaic heart I have now, I love the person I have become, I am in love with myself through and through. [You can pull the string on that confetti popper now!]
So while I am a little sad that my break from blogging was so long, I needed that time to heal and to make that journey back across the ‘River Styx’. The wonderful thing about having a blog as long as I have (my baby is 9 years old!?) is that it becomes a sort of mirror of your life and I knew she would be here waiting for me, when I felt good and ready to blog with the kind of energy this blog deserves, the kind she was started on.
So yes folks, I am back from the dead, and now you know the whole story.
I am excited to start this new chapter in my blog’s life and in my own life. And in case you didn’t know how the story ends … or how the new story is beginning … I left the soul-saving job at the winery back in mid-October to start a soul-developing business for myself, doing wine edutainment events and teaching the masses how to #BeWineCool
and now … I’m ready to get back to some soul-nourishing blogging again. So I hope y’all are ready.
Signing out now as,
Champagne for the Pagne!